Something to Say
Helen needs to start going out again, picking up the threads of her life, so she has signed up to one of her granddaughter Susie's writing workshops. This results in a bit of soul searching, a smidgeon of philosophising, and a dash of ponderings on the writing process.
The cast is
Erika Sanderson as Susie
Andrea Richardson as Angela
Ted Gray as the janitor
Flloyd Kennedy as Helen.
The music is by John T La Barbera, from his album "In the Labyrinth
as well as Helen's themes from Season 12.
The Sound Design is by Flloyd Kennedy, will some help from Soundly and Freesound.org.
including:
120177__maxdemianagl__plusieurs_chaises_glissent.
816927__meanraccoon__writing-and-paper-noises-with-pencil-in-a-notebook
804486__vitae-li__writing_on_paper_with_pencil_02^
Crowd,Cafe,Medium Distant,Light,Idle,Steady,Cutlery,DSM^
Thanks to the Fable and Folly network for their support and encouragement. Please support their sponsors at fableandfolly.com/sponsors.
Please share this podcast with your friends and rellies, and it would also be grand if you have some pennies, or cents to spare to help with production costs, if you could drop a few into our buckets over at either buymeacoffee.com/amIoldyet, or at Patreon.com/amIoldyet.
Thanks for listening. Stay safe.
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EPISODE 2
SCENE ONE
FLLOYD
Thunder's Mouth Theatre presents:
Episode 2 of Season 13 of "Am I Old
Yet?". You may have noticed, the
delivery of Season 13 is at a slower
pace than previous seasons. That's
because I've had a few health issues,
and everything is slower for me at the
moment. It occurred to me that Helen
was probably having a similar
experience, recovering from her
accident, so perhaps she needed a bit
of a kick to get going again. Hence,
she's off to attend one of those
writing workshops we're always hearing
about. Only this one, she has to rock
up in person. Enjoy...
SCENE 1
murmer of voices. Footsteps?
HELEN:
Hi
SUSIE
Hello, welcome. Come on in. It’s Helen,
isn’t it?
Helen
How did you know?
SUSIE
I... recognised your voice.
HELEN
From one word?
SUSIE
Oh yes. I have a very good memory for
voices. And yours is quite distinctive.
HELEN
Really?
I did not know that. Shall I sit here?
(pulls out a chair)
Hello! I’m Helen
ANGELA
Hello. Angela. It’s my first time here.
HELEN
Me too.
(to the SUSIE)
Sorry I’m late
SUSIE
Not a problem, Helen. Well, that’s
everybody on my list, so we may as well
begin. Are you all set up with your
paper and pens?
ANGELA
Oh! I brought my iPad.
HELEN
Me too.
SUSIE
Ah. I thought I had made it clear, this
is about using paper and pens, getting
those hands to deliver the words to the
paper,
ANGELA
Sorry. I just thought…
SUSIE
Never mind. Off you go. Just remember
for next time. You’ll be surprised how
much of a difference it makes.
HELEN
I certainly will.
SUSIE
I’m sorry. Did you say something Helen?
HELEN
I said I’m sure it certainly will.
ANGELA
(giggles)
SUSIE
Right… Well, I’m setting the timer now.
20 minutes! And… go
HELEN
(inside her head )
and here I am. with a blank screen. and
'words' are happening, don’t do that.
That thing where you think of something
you wrote before. This is not the time
to repeat, the challenge is to get new
words down.
But first, a reminder, if I’m going to
do this again, I want a proper pad and
a proper pencil. What’s that pencil
that isn’t the pale indecipherable 2B?
HB something I think. good, glad I got
that sorted.
Because guess what, writing directly
onto the tablet leaves me open to
unexpected distractions. And I have
enough of those in my life already.
Interesting. I’m not even sure I
remember how to write. Oh! Look at you!
There you go. Like riding a bike. Not.
Nothing like riding a bike. But I’m
doing it. Writing down, sorry... typing
these words as I think them. No
judgment. …
Is pausing allowed? Look at Angela,
she’s pausing. Ok, stop looking at
Angela. None of your business who else
is pausing. And now, look at me, not
pausing! Ok, I’m writing again. I’m
sure I said that before. Writing again.
When did I start writing? Before I
could read? Or did I learn to read
first? That’s idiotic! How could I be
writing before I could read - oh! I
know. Because I would have learnt the
letters, before I learnt how to put
them together. And so the writing -
hey! I think she’s got a point. The
writing with the pencil did make a
difference. It actually taught me how
to read! This chair is deeply
uncomfortable. And now my wrist hurts.
Because my wrist is old, like the rest
of me. And it just happens to hurt more
than the rest of me. And it doesn’t
matter how much rubbish I write just
now, none of it looks to be anything
like anything that could possibly be of
any use. At all.
And there’s a thought. Why does it have
to be of some use? Why aren’t I allowed
to just write and it not be of any use?
I know I’m allowed to, nothing is
stopping me, nobody is stopping me,
there is no law against it. But there
it is again… that feeling… that it has
to be of some use. To me, anyway. Maybe
it’s helping me in some way that I am,
as yet, unaware of. Oh! the joy of
finishing a sentence with a
preposition!!! How naughty am I!!
Well… that just stopped me in my
tracks. I so want to look around, to
see what everybody else is doing. Good.
They are doing what I’m doing. Staring
into space, staring at the paper,
staring at the screen. Angela just
looked up and winked at me. I like her
already.
Wish I’d arrived earlier. If I could
have heard something about the others,
that might have given me something to
be inspired by. Or not. Coz I certainly
don’t have anything to inspire them
with. HAH! Another preposition ending
sentence. I’m getting good at this.
Ain’t it grand, how much we enjoy
breaking rules that we learnt as
children, and then discovered they were
only mistaken for rules. Or invented
for one reason or another, but, like
the preposition rule, were adopted from
a different discipline, or in this case
from a different language, and rammed
on top of the English language for a
not very good reason.
Standardisation. How amusing, really,
to think of the effort the Victorians
went to standardise the language, and
how it is spoken, only for my
generation to break the bonds and go
wild. And now I’m hungry. Because it’s
my dinner time! And I know, I should
have eaten earlier, but I wasn’t hungry
then. Grrrr. That’s how I spell my
tummy rumbling, in case you were
wondering.
Oh - look at that! I’m assuming I have
a reader now. It took a while, but
there it is. And I simply cannot sit
here any longer, I need to stand up.
(
(scrape of chair
and footsteps)
SUSIE
(loud whisper) )
Are you alright Helen?
HELEN
(loud whisper) )
Yes thanks. Just need to stretch.
SUSIE
Oh. Ok.
HELEN
(Chair)
That didn’t actually help all that
much. Wonder how much longer… No, don’t
do that. Pick up the thread. Where was
I? Oh yes, breaking the rules of
grammar. And I LOVED grammar. I
absolutely loved learning the rules.
And then following them. Thinking it
made me a good girl. Following rules.
And it probably did. But what good did
it actually do me? Being a good girl.
I think… yes! I think! I’m actually
having a new thought, something I
haven’t had for quite a long time. Must
keep going, get it down before I forget
what it was. Where was I? Yes. I was so
terrified of not being a good girl,
that I learnt to be terrified. Yikes!
Well, that explains a lot, doesn't it.
And even though I did learn,
eventually, to break a few rules
without it being a calamity, tinkering
around the edges of being a so-called
bad girl, I don’t think I’ve ever
unlearned being terrified. I role play
not being afraid. And I’m damned good
at role playing. Should have been an
actor, eh? Except that I didn’t
realize that was what I was doing. So
underneath, I was still, always and
ever, working hard at being a good
girl.
Well, that was exhausting. And now I
need coffee, as well as food. … And I
need to stop looking at my watch.
Because it only slows time down. As if
that were possible.
That reminds me. How come everybody
that’s dying these days is younger than
me. Than I. Oops, there I go again.
Obeying the rules. Even when they don’t
exist any more.
But it’s true. Every day, news, so and
so, celebrity person, actor, author,
inventor, died. And then they say how
old they were. 75. 63. 59. But mostly
in their 70s. And yes, I know I’m
exaggerating, but it’s my timeline, my
story, so I can exaggerate if I want
to.
And why does it bother me? Because it
forces me to wonder how I get to be
still going, when they are not. As if
people aren’t dying every day whether I
know about it or not? What does it have
to do with me? It’s connected to that
thing when younger people pretend to
disbelieve that I am the age I am. I
know I look older than my mother did at
my age. So age has nothing to do with
it. I... almost said something else,
just then, but it’s gone.
Can’t remember what it was. And you can
tell me as often as you like that we
all forget things, we always have done,
but I am here to inform you, dear
reader, to advise you even, if you
really are all that much younger that
you haven’t realized it yet, that it’s
worse for me now. And I’ll tell you
why. Are you ready? Wait for it…. Now
I have to recall what I was about to
say before I can pass it on to you.
Ok. Got it. It’s worse now, because
back in the day, when I forgot
something, I could always remember it -
at least 90% of the time. These days, I
only remember the thing about 10
percent of the time. If that. And that,
just now, when I remembered it almost
straight away, is probably my
remembering ration for today.
And so, here we are again. Struggling
to think of anything to say other than,
here we are again...
Ok, yesterday. What was I doing
yesterday? What day was yesterday?
SUSIE
Ok, that's 10 minutes, you can take a
short break if you like. Maybe share
something with your neighbour... Or
with me. ... No? Ok, I'll share
something with you. The first time I
came to one of these sessions, as a
beginner, a wannabe writer if you like,
I sat there in the chair that Angela is
now sitting in, with my pencil in my
hand, and I wrote 5 words. Can you
guess what they were? ... Oh go, on.
Have a go.
ANGELA
Chapter One... er...
SUSIE
That's only 2 words.
HELEN
I don't wanna be here.
SUSIE
Close. And that's actually 6 words.
HELEN
Well, 7 if you want to be pedantic.
SUSIE
(laughs)
Very true. Well done you.
HELEN
So what were they?
SUSIE
I wrote "this is a rubbish idea".
ANGELA
Is that all?
SUSIE
Yes. That is all I wrote, for the whole
session. I went home, determined never
to come back.
ANGELA
But you did.
SUSIE
As you say. I did. And do you know why?
HELEN
Your mother made you.
SUSIE
Got it in one! Do you know my mother?
HELEN
I... may have met her. Once or twice.
SUSIE
Then I'm sure you understand.
HELEN
Oh yes. I do. I really do.
ANGELA
What's she like?
HELEN
Oh.. never mind
SUSIE
No, please. Do tell.
HELEN
She's... a very determined lady. Full
of great ideas. Like forcing you to get
some help with your writing when you
got stuck.
SUSIE
Spot on. Ok, let's get back to it, ok?
Here goes the timer, 10 more minutes.
HELEN
Right. Ok. What now? I w ant coffee. I
want my dinner. I'm an old lady, I sh
ould not have to sit here writing
nonsense. Who's idea was it—
SUSIE
(whispers )
You ok, Gran?
HELEN
Oh Susie. Not really. I want to go
home.
SUSIE
Well you're not leaving till time is
up. Oh look, you've written lots!
That's great!
HELEN
No it's not, it's rubbish.
SUSIE
And you are talking rubbish, so why not
write it too? There are no laws against
writing rubbish. Just don't publish it,
if it really is rubbish!
(Both giggle)
HELEN
I'm desperate for a coffee. Please can
we stop early.
SUSIE
I'll think about it. And I'll
definitely treat you to one as soon as
we're done here.
HELEN
You're pretty good at this, aren't you?
SUSIE
Good enough. Go on, get back to work.
HELEN
Slave driver.
SUSIE
As if.
musical interlude into timer going
off
SCENE 2
SUSIE
And... that's it. Times up. Bring it to
a close,whatever you are doing, just
finish the sentence and let it go.
chairs moving, people folding
paper etc.
SUSIE
Now, we've a few minutes before we have
to be out of here. Does anyone have
anything they'd like to share? ... You
don't have to, just if you want to say
anything... anything at all...
ANGELA
That was really interesting. I mean...
SUSIE
The exercise? Or what you wrote?
ANGELA
Oh, the exercise, definitely. I don't
think I wrote anything particularly
interesting, but I did find, you know,
that thing where you just find words
coming to your head. Quite exciting
really.
SUSIE
Great! Well done you!! Anyone else?
MANAGER
Sorry, Susie? We have to lock up early
tonight. I did say
SUSIE
Oh yes, of course. We're just packing
up. Come on everyone. Let's head out.
I'm going for a coffee next door if
you'd like to join me.
ANGELA
I wouldn't mind.
HELEN
Me too.
MUSIC
SCENE 3
cafe sounds
ANGELA
So you two know each other?
HELEN
Yes,
ANGELA
I thought so. You know, you even look a
bit alike. Are you
HELEN
She's my granddaughter.
ANGELA
Oh lovely! And you decided to join her
sessions.
HELEN
She bullied me into it.
ANGELA
Why so? Oh! You mean like her mother
bullied her to do it too?
HELEN
I wouldn't exactly put it like that.
But she has been trying to encourage me
to get back to writing again.
ANGELA
Oh my goodness, you're a writer!
HELEN
Oh, don't get too excited, it's just
poetry
ANGELA
JUST poetry? Are you joking? I love
poetry. Dabbled myself, back in the
day, when I was a teenager, I would
love to be able to write poetry.
HELEN
What's stopping you? Oh dear. I'm so
sorry. That sounds so rude! You have
every right to say exactly that back to
me.
ANGELA
Alright then. What's stopping you?
I'll tell you, if you tell me.
SUSIE
Here you are. That's your latte,
Angela, and here's your flat white
Gran.
HELEN
Thanks darling.
SUSIE
And I'd love to hear what you both have
to say on that subject, of what you
think is stopping you from writing.
HELEN
You know exactly what it is, because
you've been there yourself, you cheeky
thing!
SUSIE
Of course I do.
ANGELA
Well, I'd be most grateful if you would
tell me what it is. Because I just
plain do not know.
HELEN
Go on then Susie. You're the boss in
this situation.
SUSIE
Ok. The simple answer is. Nothing. Noth
ng is stopping us. We're just not doing
it. When you get into that headset of
"I can't do it". The more you say you
can't, the more true it becomes. So the
only answer is to stop saying it. Say
"I haven't done it yet" or "I haven't
started yet", and then start.
ANGELA
Oh. I think I get it... And I think
I'll bring a proper writing pad and a
lovely big pencil and a pencil
sharpener next week. Because I did get
started tonight. And now I want to see
if it really does make any difference
writing it out by hand.
SUSIE
Good. How about you, Gran. Are you
coming back next week?
HELEN
Try and stop me.
FLLOYD
That was Episode 2 of Season 13,
"Something to Say". You heard Erika
Sanderson as Susie, Andrea Richardson
as Angela, Ted Gray as the janitor and
Flloyd Kennedy as Helen. The music is
by John T La Barbera. Now if you've
got this far, I can only assume you've
been enjoying what you are listening
to, and if that is so, would you please
very kindly pass it on to someone else
who might also enjoy it! It's word of
mouth that does the heavy lifting when
it comes to promoting an audio fiction
podcast. It would also be grand if you
have some pennies, or cents to spare,
if you could drop a few into our
buckets over at either buymeacoffee.com/
amIoldyet, or at Patreon.com/amIoldyet.
Anything you care to leave under the
plate will be gratefully acknowledged,
as we used to say in the olden days.
Thanks for listening. Stay safe.
Author, Actor
Flloyd Kennedy (aka Fairy Bessie), Australian-born actress, performance poet, singer-songwriter, director and voice/speech/accent coach, took part in the British folk revival in the late 60s, performed street theatre, cabaret and fringe theatre in Scotland throughout the 1980s and 90s, returned to Australia where she undertook research into the performing voice (specifically Shakespeare) for her doctorate. She has performed, directed, and taught voice and acting skills at colleges and universities in the UK, US and Australia. Now resident in Liverpool, UK, Flloyd tours her one-person versa plays with music around the world, performs her songs and poems at open mics in and around Liverpool. She also coaches student and professional actors, private individuals and community and corporate groups through her private studio Being in Voice. She is artistic director of Thunder’s Mouth Theatre (theatre of poetry, passion and philosophy), a Certified Teacher of Knight-Thompson Speechwork and is an Associate Artist with ISAAC (International School for Acting And Clown), She has now published two collections of poetry, songs and essays, Sunsets & Kites and Home is Where I Hang My Hat. Her songs are available on Bandcamp, as well as all major online streaming services.
Composer/Guitarist
John T. La Barbera, film score composer, producer, guitar and stringed instrument virtuoso and concert artist, has won several awards and commissions from The Jerome Foundation, Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts, The Martin Gruss Foundation, the New York State Council on the Arts, Meet the Composer, UMass-Dartmouth, and ASCAP.
His film scores include: Children of Fate (Academy Award Nomination 1992); The Old Guitarist starring Dominic Chianese; The Bounty Hunter; Sacco and Vanzetti ; Sister Italy; Pane Amaro; What's up Scarlet; Neapolitan Heart ; Finding The Mother Lode: Italian Immigrants in California; La Festa and Tarantella .
His silent film scores include Assunta Spina, (1915, Naples), ‘A Santa Notte (1922, Naples), Chaplin’s The Immigrant (1917) and The Adventurer (1917), The Black Hand (1906), The Musketeers of Pig Alley (1912) and The Adventures of Lieutenant Petrosino, (1912), Regeneration (1915)
In Theater, his expertise as composer, arranger and musical director was valuable in the off-Broadway productions of Souls of Naples, (Theater for a New Audience) starring John Turturro and the stage adaptation of Sicilian playwright Luigi Pirandello's short stories in Kaos, (New York Theater Workshop) directed by Marta Clarke. Folk Opera, Stabat Mater-Donna di Paradiso, was commissioned and performed at The Cathedral of St. John the Divine.
He has appeared on recording and performance projects with many great artists including folk singer Judy Collins, actor Dominic Chianese (Uncle Junior- Sopranos), Hollywood film sou…Read More
